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Now displaying: September, 2017

Smash Fiction is a debate-style comedy podcast in which a rotating cast of nerds argue on behalf of their chosen fictional characters. Only one can win!

Sep 29, 2017

This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for September 2017. The original description follows:

Oh man, where to start with this bizarre song. As decided by many of you, I was tasked with writing a song about Dante's aversion to clothing. Honestly, I couldn't have been happier, so good job! In League, Dante really likes to tear his clothes off. I don't know how or why I came up with this character convention but it happened for better or worse. It's worked so far in game so it's probably here to stay.

Anyways, for the lyrics, I had to incorporate some fun events where the clothes tearing actually worked (sort of). During the fight with Dracula, Dante tore off his clothes and successfully stole his cape! During the League's stay in Westeros, there was a "romantic" rendezvous between Dante and Mordin, which, you guessed it! Involved Dante striking a bare ass pose.

For the music, I knew I had to do something strange. For the intro, I tried to emulate Sir Mix a Lot's "Baby Got Back" because I figured Dante probably thinks that is how people view him, the egomaniac! For the rest of the song, I tried to emulate Devil May Cry's hard rock soundtracks. I knew it had to be loud and crazy and full of distortion.

Thank you for listening.

-Liz

LYRICS for "A Body of Art...Work"

Oh my God, have you seen Dante?
His abs are like, so defined.
Oh my God, how do you know that?
Oh my God, how do you know that?
Because he never wears a shirt silly!
Because he never wears a shirt silly!

Why would you want to hide it?
Don't you want to find it?
I'm basically beautiful,
And I've got a beard, that's important.

Things, kilts, footie pajamas, red coat, white shirt, black pants, big boots, I hate it all!
That's right, you heard me, I hate it all!
This is getting too long now and I don't know what to say anymore, LET'S GO!

TEAR IT OFF!

I've tried tank tops, I've tried coats and pants and those sweet ass boots.
Try a sock? I think not.
Nothing quite compares to that wind up my derriere!
And it looks really nice, I mean, I've been told that before, I believe it, uh anyways uh, moving on.

No one can resist my super good looking nakedness.
So why wear clothes, when I can strike a bare ass pose?

You cannot stop it, I know you like it, don't be ashamed because I cannot blame you.
I'm going to do my part, because my body is pure art!

TEAR IT OFF!

My power is increased, when my clothing is deceased.
Go ask Dracula.
My shining chest, is just the best.
Go ask Mordana.

I can't really talk well, but I'm really good at tearing shit off.
Clothes just suck a bunch, and I'd rather wear my lunch...ABLES!

Oh my God, Dante.

Sep 24, 2017

Even in the midst of the ever-expanding Astro-kerfuffle, if you've got a job, the crew of the Serenity can do it. Don't much care what it is. Even if the job is to help a weird guy named Zorg get his hands on four stones hidden inside the body of a blue alien opera singer. Mal and the gang converge on Fhloston Paradise and get immediately embroiled in all the screaming, shooting, exploding nonsense going on there, but in the confusion, River Tam, the genius telepath who "ain't quite right," slips away to find the stones by herself. She is soon confronted by a woman with orange hair and questionable taste in space fashion, the fifth element herself, Leeloo. Conflict is inevitable between these two supernaturally gifted warriors. Will River dance gracefully (and barefoot) over the fallen form of another opponent, or is Leeloo the only power in the 'verse that can stop her?

Dan and Miles team up against Kit and Sharon in a spousal battle of husbands and wives while MeganBob presides from her space throne! Also featuring conversations about sex, bodily functions, and Disney movies. But you already knew that.

Sep 19, 2017

This episode originally aired on Patreon as a public bonus episode in September 2017. The original description follows:

During some behind-the-scenes silliness, Space Jam came up in a random discussion (because of course it did). Kit requested that Miles isolate this clip of Liz and Bob's combined awesomeness to turn into an alert tone for her phone. Miles did the thing. And it was good.

Now we leave it here for all to enjoy and use for whatever space and hoop needs you may have.

Sep 17, 2017

In the latest match dictated by a Smash Fiction Patron, there's a dragon on the loose, and two dragon tamers in town! Well, one dragon tamer, at the very least; Berk native Hiccup Haddock literally wrote the book on how to train dragons, and has vowed to apply all his empathic Viking intuition toward bringing this new one into the fold. His rival is less of a trainer than a finder, and he's a finder less of dragons specifically than of fantastic beasts in general, but the wizarding world's own Newt Scamander is similarly determined to secure the beast within his not-terribly-secure magical briefcase. Will Hiccup find himself figuratively toothless against so powerful an opponent, or will Newt's worry-free philosophy backfire and cause him to suffer more than twice?

Featuring Kit at her angriest, MeganBob at her silliest, and the return of THE SPACE JUDGE.

Sep 10, 2017

In an airport bar somewhere in this terrifying, apocalyptic world in which modern youth consumption trends indicate that disaffected teens are no longer being swayed by advertising, 1960s Madison Avenue superstar Don Draper (not his real name) is currently engaged in a desperate attempt to get his job back after indulging yet again in his persistent hobbies of drinking and adultery. His challenge: to sell a bottle of awful (but, in fairness, totally metal) perfume to Daria Morgendorffer, the ultimate disaffected teen, Earth's foremost slinger of sarcasm and mutterer in monotone! Can Don break down Daria's walls and convince her to give in to her deepest desires, brought to you by Lucky Strike? Or will Daria crush the ad man's soul beneath the sheer force of her world-weary teenage nihilism?

Featuring anti-capitalist rants, passionate discussions about Mad Men, opening arguments in the form of a listicle, and the Smash Fiction debut of Claire Mulkerin!

Sep 3, 2017

With the dark truth behind the Nexus Tournament revealed, the League faces down the magic-using, shapeshifting villain who's been manipulating everything. Can they put a stop to his evil machinations? What about the trophy that they came here to get in the first place? And what new/old threat shows up to throw a monkey wrench into the whole business?

Dante is tempted by the dark side; Stitch becomes a living weapon; Archer performs a public service announcement; Mordin scavengers some new technology; and Luna's just the best, you guys.

Special thanks to FiendishSpirit for allowing us to use the main combat music in this episode! Check out his work at www.youtube.com/user/FiendishSpirit.

Sep 3, 2017

This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for August 2017. The original description follows:

We asked you what you wanted in the crosshairs of my neverending hatred, and the majority of you chose Terminator 2: Judgment Day, a film considered by many to be a legitimately great movie and considered by me to be kind of a pile of crap. The question of why I dislike Terminator 2 has been floating around the Smash Fiction oeuvre for a while now, and now the answer lies before you!

But this bonus episode isn't just me ranting! Our very own Colin Mulkerin joined me moments after exiting a theatrical screening of Terminator 2, and what you're about to hear is our in-depth conversation about the film, from shaky time travel continuity to surprisingly awesome 1991 special effects to James Cameron's inexplicable love of turning horror movies into action movies. Please enjoy, and thank you so much for your support!

-Miles

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