In space, no one can hear you swipe through Tinder -- sorry, Space Tinder. Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Jane Shepard, each on a mission to find some space lovin', wind up at a party in Mos Eisley Spaceport, where their respective bragging about their romantic prowess quickly leads to a competition. Who can become the most popular sci-fi hero in the club and go home with the most space hotties? Will Kirk's legendary libido see him through yet another challenge, or will Shepard select all the right dialogue options to get to those sweet, sweet cutscenes? Also, Dan tries to convince Miles to play Mass Effect, Colin eats carrots (stealing Kit's gimmick in the process) and Liz Logan presents yet another batshit insane Lightning Round.
Kids today. First it's pot, then it's telekinesis, and the next thing you know, an abused, introverted rage monster like Carrie White is rampaging all over Shermer High School. This is exactly why you stay away from that Mutant Growth Hormone, young people; try it once, and you could wind up covered in blood and setting towns on fire. Fortunately for Shermer High and it's stellar detention attendance record, a much more positive role model has stepped in to try and calm Carrie down, or failing that, maybe just blow up her head. Enter Matilda Wormwood, precocious child prodigy and fellow proponent of mind over matter. See? You don't need drugs, children. All you have to do is read lots of books and get really smart -- actually, wait, don't do that, either. Sit down and watch TV.
Can Matilda stop Carrie's murderous telekinetic wrath? Can we actually kill a six-year-old girl on our show? Can Miles read Dan's mind? And most importantly, can Kit and Liz stop making jokes about menstruation for, like, two seconds?
They hunt their targets, they swing awesome swords, they quip with the best, and they look damn good (in red) doing it! But on Smash Fiction, the devil who might cry sometime when no one is looking but probably not, Dante Sparda, and the fourth-wall-breaking merc with the mouth, Deadpool, face their greatest challenge yet: somehow getting past another bounty hunter who can't really be killed by anything, ever. After another one of Colin's trademark long-winded scenario set-ups, Liz leads the charge in defense of her beloved Extraordinary League Character; Dan gets the first ever podcast yellow card; Miles delivers what might be an argument and what might be a legitimate on-air seizure; and guest host MeganBob returns to explain to everybody why these two bad-asses are totally going to have sex. Nothing in the multiverse can prepare you for the upcoming insanity. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. McDonald's: Because it's about time somebody assassinated the Hamburglar.
This week on Extraordinary League: Mordin goes bird-catching, Stitch destroys a kitchen, Dante learns Prince Adam's favorite recipe for Lunchables, and Miles lives out his 19-year-old Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball fantasies through Sterling Archer...and that's BEFORE they get to Jurassic Park. Also, somebody uses a Triceratops as a surfboard.