This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for December 2017. The original description follows:
Welcome to another bonus episode featuring your favorite curmudgeonly Smash Fiction host ranting about something he hates! This time around, you folks voted for something that most other people hate, too--the Star Wars prequels. Dan Mulkerin joins me for a discussion on all things that happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, with emphasis on how, why, and to what degree Episodes 1-3 sucked. From Jesus analogues to death by loss of willpower to inexplicable hostility toward sand, the prequels don't stand a chance against us. After all, we have the high ground.
With a mind-melting 100 episodes in the can, it's once again time for Smash Fiction's season finale, the Smash Bash Championship! All six hosts join forces yet again, this time to draft teams of five Season 2 victors. These teams will then be tested in the Lightning Gauntlet -- no fewer than SIX ridiculous Lightning Rounds in a row! The winners of these Lightning Rounds will go on to compete in the Ultimate Smashdown, a final fight to determine the new Smash Fiction champion! Who will assume the throne? Who will be found wanting? How long can we possibly sustain this amount of bullshit?
Incidentally, given the fact that you all somehow allowed us to reach 100 episodes, the answer to that last question appears to be "pretty damn long."
100 episodes. Holy shit. We don't entirely know how this happened, but we do know that it wouldn't have happened without all of you. So thank you, from the bottom of all our cockles, and as a small token of our appreciation, please enjoy 80 whole minutes of the six regular Smash Fiction hosts going completely fucking insane, in their own unique ways. You don't actually need to have seen Lord of War, Gone In 60 Seconds, Deadfall, Bangkok Dangerous, or G-Force. You just need love (and Nicolas Cage) in your heart. And deep down inside, everyone has that. Welcome to Cage Match 3...
...and Merry Cagemas!
Question: For about an hour, why was the Fire Princess' kingdom Armageddon?
Answer: THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!
Four fire-themed characters turn up the heat on one another and the advocates deliver some burns of their own in an appropriately aggressive elemental contest. Will Zuko's fire-bending and general moodiness make him a Smash Fiction avatar? Will Kit's tendency to get SUPER close to the mic when she's angry help her defend her beloved Roy Mustang? Will Chandra Nalaar use her interplanar wizardry and her incredible collection of quotes to burn her enemies to ash? Or will Miles' love of the New Warriors and unending supply of bullshit comic book science allow him to unleash Firestar's true power?
Also, MeganBob is the least judgmental judge of all time, Kit reviews Full Metal Alchemist in both manga and anime form, and Miles steadfastly refuses to learn anything about the actual story of Magic: The Gathering.
With another Star Wars movie upon us, the Smash Fiction crew Force-leaps back into the world of magic mind bullets and dueling space priests, a place where lightsabers clash, lightning flies, and red laser shields turn on and off for, like, no reason! A long time ago (though definitely in the same galaxy) we battled to determine the most powerful lord of the Sith. At some point in our grimy, intricately lived-in future, we will determine the worthiest of the Jedi Masters. But now, in Smash Fiction's personal Empire Strikes Back, we dive into the Expanded Universe like a one-handed farm boy falling out of a space station to decide whether Revan, the most notable Knight of the Old Republic, or Galen "Starkiller" Marek and his tendency toward unleashing the Force, is the greatest of the "gray" Jedi -- those whose hearts and minds have been touched by both the darkness and the light.
Neal Butler returns to fulfill his destiny, that being to answer questions such as: Which of these competitors will prove themselves the ultimate master of heavy-handed symbolic moral ambiguity? Which will be condemned to eternity as a computer-generated blue ghost? And does it really matter if anyone has the high ground?
Also, Dan gets super concerned about spoiling an extremely old video game, MeganBob pitches her documentary series about the plight of the side characters in the Star Wars universe, and Kit calls upon the full power of the Feisty Side.
It's a dark time for our heroes as the traitorous Demona has claimed the Power of Grayskull! Unable to face her and her forces directly, the League is forced to resort to sneakier, subtler, and smarter tactics--and if there's one thing we've learned about this group of heroes, it's that they're great at showing restraint and good judgment! Right? ...right?
Mordin develops a new persona; Stitch brings the house down; Nico becomes a real SJW (social justice wizard); Dante wrestles a gorilla; Helena finds honor worth fighting for; and the group is joined by an unexpected ally.