This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for March 2018. The original description follows:
I think it's safe to say that writing this song has been an exploration of Skeletor's sensitive and emotional, yet still very evil, side. Based on how many times he's utterly failed over the years, he's finally turned to a classical music piece to maybe make a name for himself, but even then, still can't escape He-Man.
When I started out with writing this song, I was torn between writing a bombastic, dissonant piece or a more somber, emotional one. I basically attempted to combine all of those feelings into this twisted, classical amalgamation. I started out with samples of all the hosts' most terrifying Skeletor laughs and some extremely dissonant piano... and then, because I'm Liz Logan, thought it would be a great idea to go from evil (what you would expect) to something unexpected, i.e. pleasant sounding. Then, I wanted the end of the song to be Skeletor's mental snare and bass-driven march to actually completing something for once. Bravo!
LYRICS for "Skeletor Symphony No. 1"
No one cares for me,
No one seems to see
That I'm so powerful
That I even impress myself.
I like to feel evil.
I live to be bad.
You're a loser Skeletor!
He-Man, you boob!
Everything I do
Is for the sake of evil!
Too bad I'm surrounded by dolts and halfwits and brainless idiots
Who couldn't even beat a motley group of gnomes
Skeletor is love!
You poor metal munching morons
And this is how it ends,
With Skeletor triumphant, at last!
Nazis. Why'd it have to be Nazis? And on the moon, of all places.
When space Nazis kidnap president James Marshall right off his Air Force One, NASA makes use of SCIENCE! to summon three of his look-alikes from alternate universes. From long ago in a galaxy far, far away comes former general, forever smuggler, and first-shooter, Han Solo! Swinging in with a whip and a fedora full of luck is archaeologist, professor, and repeated nuisance to Nazis, Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr! And last and definitely oldest comes former Bladerunner, neo-noir hide-and-seek champion, and toasted cheese enthusiast, Rick Deckard!
Which of these men is a bad enough dude to save the president? Will Claire turn to the Dark Side after multiple jokes about patricide? Does Kit even care who wins as long as Rick Deckard loses? And can Liz keep it together after all the psychological abuse hurled her way when she never asked for this (except she totally did)?
Smash Metafiction presents the second episode of Collaboratory, in which Claire Mulkerin guides three other Smash Fiction hosts through a collaborative storytelling process using the characters, settings, genres, goals, and MacGuffins they each independently brought to the table, stitched together via the screenwriting steps and structure from the book Save The Cat! In this sophomore effort, a few similarities between story elements don't make things any less fun, as super-strong teenagers hang out in bell towers, Kit combines her greatest fear with her affection for popular '80s music, and Miles enters the lab for the first time...
A dispute over a minor magical artifact turns into a battle of the dark princesses of fighting games, as whip fetishist and least-dressed Soul Calibur character Ivy Valentine takes on Darkstalker's resident bat-winged succubus, Morrigan Aensland, and the fan-flinging queen of Kombat, Princess Kitana, in the first actual straight-up combat match of Season 3! Will Ivy's use of the Soul Edge be enough to overcome the disadvantages conveyed on her by the basic rules of boob physics? Will Morrigan's combo-spamming techniques and shapeshifting abilities win the day over her better-known foes? Or will Kitana just inexplicably turn everyone into babies and be done with it?
Also, the hosts perform an experiment to determine just how many terrible puns can fit in one episode, James Bond suffers a quick and hideous death, and for the second time in Smash Fiction history, somebody says the words, "Fuck you, Miles."
This week's episode is brought to you by Corn Nuts and "The Aughts."
Some difficulties during recording mean that this episode is a bit shorter than normal, but you still get a giant helping of Mushroom Kingdom action and intrigue! The League (and their new companion) have been found by Koopa Troops--it looks like their quest to free the land from Bowser won't be an easy one. Can the League stand up to some of their weirdest enemies yet? And what ill-advised and hideously impractical plan will they come up with to infiltrate an entire stronghold of these things?
Dante goes old school; Luna makes sure everyone gets enough to eat; Stitch tries on some new kicks; Nico goes her own way; and Vivian REALLY plays against type.