When you need someone rescued from a high-tech, heavily-guarded compound, you send in James Bond, MI6 Agent 007. But what if the person who needs to be rescued is Bond himself? When England's top secret agent finds himself kept in a martini-induced coma, MI6 has no one they can reliably send in to extract him... so four of Bond's old flings decide to take matters into their own hands.
Can Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale) successfully leverage her intelligence and fashion sense while managing to avoid any underwater elevators? Can Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies) use her martial arts and quick thinking even if she's handcuffed to an unconscious Bond? Can Xenia Onatopp (Goldeneye) use her massive leg strength to squeeze victory from this one? Will Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me) prove true the old adage, "In Soviet Russia, Bond girl rescue YOU?" And when all is said and done, will Bond even survive the experience?
And for those of you disappointed in the lack of a supernatural element to this week's match, stay tuned for some magic in the Lightning Round! ...although maybe not the type of magic you're expecting.
In Smash Fiction's first team-up match, Shao Khan and the realm of Outworld decide to invade Earth... which isn't all that out of character, except that this particular version of Earth doesn't recognize the rules of Mortal Kombat. Instead, it chooses its champions via the sacred art of STREET FIGHTING! Which is totally different, except for the fighting part. And the tournament structure. And, you know, the fireballs. There are always fireballs.
As these two one-on-one martial arts meritocracies collide, the first battle begins. INTERPOL agent and leg day at the gym enthusiast Chun-Li sets out to discover more information about her world's mysterious attackers, and enlists the aid of Ryu, professional Super Saiyan with the personality of sliced bread. And of course, it isn't long before the street fighters are accosted by two of the deadliest bloodletters and headsplitters to ever conceal horrific facial features behind their facemasks: Mileena, contender to Outworld's throne and five-time winner of its Best Smile Award, and Scorpion, hellfire connoisseur and the ultimate undead family man. With no story mode option in sight, there's only one thing for these four to do: Prepare for the start of Round 1.
Will Chun-Li's bizarrely-named, physics-defying kicks and Ryu's probably-not-coincidental similarities to Liu Kang be enough to overcome the constant teleportation and increasingly improbable fatality moves of Scorpion and Mileena? Will Miles's slight cold prevent him from complaining about video game -- even the ones he actually likes? (Spoiler alert: No. No, it will not.) And what manner of perverse, spontaneous bullshit will manifest when the Lightning Round goes where only one other fighting game franchise has gone before?
By the Perplexing Patronuses of Pottermore! There's evil afoot! Well...not afoot, exactly. More like a-slither. Lord Voldemort, aka He Who Must Not Be Named, the most powerful dark wizard of all time, has returned to life and taken over nearly the entire wizarding world. Albus Dumbledore has vanished, last seen muttering something about a Tome of Eternal Darkness. Snape is running Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic has been completely infiltrated, and Harry Potter, the so-called Chosen One, has vanished without a trace. The bad guys are winning and there's no help in sight...
...no help, that is, until Neville Longbottom reaches desperately into the Sorting Hat and somehow manages to pull out a full-fledged Sorcerer Supreme. Dr. Stephen Strange has arrived in England, and after hearing about the wizards' plight, vows to bring Voldemort down. With his magical abilities and various artifacts of Agamotto, how hard could killing one snake-obsessed psychopath possibly be?
But Strange soon learns that Voldemort will not be easily undone. To defeat him, the good doctor must find the Dark Lord's six Horcruxes and destroy them, all while dodging Death Eaters and navigating a Voldemort-controlled wizard establishment. Can Strange blast and astral-project his way to victory and prove that sometimes love isn't all you need? Or will Voldemort's cursed rings, sinister potions, and spamming of the Killing Curse prove too much for Marvel's mightiest magician?
Also in this episode: The Lightning Round backfires on Judge Liz Logan, and we spend way too much time talking about Halloween costumes and golf.
The end of the League's quest in Westeros is in sight... when they find a capital-W Wall in front of them. Do they deal with the taciturn black-clad Night's Watch and their newly-elected Lord Commander, the suspicious royal guards led by a fiery woman in red, or take their chances with the wildlings and their monstrous pets? All the while, Nico is her own worst enemy; Mordin finally loses patience with his disguise; Dante has a religious awakening (but probably not the one you're expecting), and Stitch decides to go economy size.