Twenty years after the original publication of A Game of Thrones, it's finally happened (well, in Smash Fiction continuity, at least): Daenerys Targaryen is, at long last, sailing home to Westeros! Now is the time for justice, for vengeance, for fire and bloo--wait, that doesn't look like Westeros. In general, Westeros tends to be less of a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash and dust...I mean, things can get pretty bad there, but I don't think you could say that the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume or anything. Yes, Dany has arrived at the land of Mordor (where the shadows fall -- it is known) and quickly decides that it must be brought down (that's what Daenerys Targaryen hates, so carefully, carefully, with the slaves). Dany has come, once again, as a a conqueror, but can her Unsullied army, brilliant tacticians, and non-Tolkien-style dragons successfully overcome the full strength of the hordes of Sauron, the Lord of the Rings? Featuring Dan's Dothraki accent (yes, we've moved on to offending fictional races, too), Miles' insensitivity towards Memorial Day, Kit's dragon color confusion, Special Guest Cohost Meganbob's graphs (which inexplicably do not translate well to the podcast format) and Also Special Guest Cohost and Host of the Unspoiled! Podcast Natasha Kingston's Dungeons and Dragons references (because she just wants to make everyone take another shot).
A seat has opened up in the Great Board of S.C.I.E.N.T.I.S.T., composed of the most brilliant scientific minds in all dimensions, and fictional braniacs everywhere want in...but none more so than the ancient, doomsday device-collecting head of Planet Express, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, and the whiskey-burping sociopath known throughout the multiverse as Rick Sanchez. With only 30 days to prove why they deserve the seat, Farnsworth gathers his crew with a hearty "Good news, everyone" and Rick drags a groaning Morty away from another school assignment, and the contest is on! For science! Will Farnsworth's senility win out over Rick's alcoholism? Does the Portal Gun trump the Fing-Longer? Will Dan Harmon's evil time traveling scheme finally be revealed? And has Colin officially mastered the art of character impressions during lengthy scenario set-ups? Featuring special guest host Jason Ahlquist of MarsDust.net and AboutTomorrowFilm.com.
It's an ancient game, a dance that has played out over and over again since time immemorial, a deadly ballet of hunter and hunted, predator and prey...hide and seek! But if the legendary Boba Fett wants to maintain his reputation as the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, he has his work cut out for him this time. His targets are two of the most elusive figures in history (literally): international crime lord and A-list alliteration ace Carmen Sandiego, and the wide-eyed red-and-white enigma known as Waldo, or Wally, or any of a dozen other names. Which of these masters of hiding and escape is destined for a life of carbonite wall decoration? Are there any limits to the breadth and depth of the unbelievable bullshit utilized by the advocates in this match? (Spoiler: No. No, there are not.) And in a contest this silly, how terrifying could Kit's Lightning Round possibly be? Special thanks to Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com) for use of his song "Day of Chaos." Those last two sentences are entirely unrelated. Really.
Notch...draw...bullshit! In a desperate effort to keep King Joffrey Baratheon from being bored on his name day, four of the greatest archers in all fiction have been summoned to compete in a great archery contest to determine the ultimate master of the archerial arts (copyright Colin Mulkerin). Can Legolas' elf eyes see the target (perhaps the color of that tower over there is a sign of blood and victory)? Can Hawkeye overcome the ridiculous comic book continuity that made him deaf, and then not deaf, and then deaf again? Can Merida survive our atrocious attempts at Scottish accents? Can Robin Hood somehow explain how the hell that one crazy shot in the Disney movie actually worked (and also how foxes can use bows without thumbs)? The competition is about to begin! Listeners, to your "play" buttons!
The League's adventures in Jurassic Park continue as Mordin Solus, Dante Sparda, Sterling Archer, and Stitch -- along with their new companions, Lara Croft, Roland Deschain, Zero, and a friendly velociraptor -- try to escape this world of reptilian tyrants while thwarting the mysterious goals of their Phyrexian oppressors! Can they overcome Slash Panther scouts, an angry Apatosaurus, and a GODDAMN T-REX on their path to victory? Can Dante and Archer survive their own tendencies toward motorcycles and stunt manuevers? Will Mordin hit on Lara out of sheer spite? And are there any limits to Stitch's strength...or his bizarre creativity?