Ia! Ia! Colossus fhtagn! Having destroyed fifteen of the sixteen colossi required to bring his maybe-not-actually-but-let's-face-it-probably girlfriend Mono back to life, the boy called Wander returns to the temple of the ancient god, Dormin, to find an unexpected seventeenth idol waiting for him. After politely inquiring as to what the actual fuck, he is told that there is one additional colossus that, while not part of the original bargain, is really going to cause problems now that it has woken up.
That's an understatement, seeing as this new colossus is, in fact, Cthulhu, the squamous, tentacled high priest of the Great Old Ones. Bad luck that his alarm (currently set to the screams of the damned, with the whoops of sadistic hedonism scheduled to play ten minutes after he hits the snooze button) happened to go off now, of all times, but if Wander wants a resurrected Mono to awaken to a world that hasn't been consumed in a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom, he has to travel to the formerly sunken city of R'lyeh and slay the most terrifying half-glimpsed Lovecraftian nightmare of them all. Can the enigimatic giant-slayer use his magic sword, his mastery of shaky conditions, and his beleaguered but faithful horse, to conquer the giant that launched a thousand plushees? Or are the stars right for Wander to fall, frothing at the mouth and gibbering incoherently, beneath the non-Euclidean shadow of Cthulhu?
Also featuring a Lousiana swamp cultist accent, an uncomfortable amount of alien body shaming, the return of the ever-popular chess vs. poker question, and a board game that nobody but Miles remembers how to play.
Two of fiction's most brutally metal and/or totally righteous musical groups are on course for audio animosity...but this is no ordinary battle of the bands. The winners of this guitar squealing showdown will determine the course of human history, as their music leads the planet Earth to its salvation, or its downfall. That most excellent duo of Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted "Theodore" Logan, along with their Wyld Stallyn bandmates (princesses, robots, Martians, and Death) seek to usher the human race into a day-glo surfer-speaking utopia. But Nathan Explosion, William Murderface, Toki Wartooth, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, and Pickles, the force of ultimate destruction collectively known as Dethklok, are exercising their dark influence to bring humanity to its knees in the wake of the Metalocalypse! Which band will, quite literally, rule the world? What bizarre time travel-related argument have Sup Nerds guest hosts Spike and Taulbee concocted (allegedly with the aid of cocaine)? Can Miles successfully alienate the entire state of Florida? And isn't anybody going to do the Toki voice?
Due to a bizarre series of events involving Buddhist Sith Lords, Spanish Jedi, and Darth Vader's growing ennui (because Smash Fiction continuity is awesome) the First Order's new superweapon project -- a matching pair of new, improved, and fully-furnished Death Stars -- has been taken over by two certified crazy artificial intelligence programs. The first, all the way from the future year of 2001 (a space odyssey can turn into a time odyssey at any second/set of of coordinates) is the murderous red-eyed master of chess, art appreciation, and being afraid he can't do that, HAL 9000! The second, having ironically been pulled through a portal, is GLaDOS, the most psychologically sadistic killing machine ever to lie to your face about cake. Now they each have a Death Star (ho ho ho), and have set their sights on slaughtering the deliciously helpless stormtroopers inside.
Which A.I. can kill their Death Star's crew first in a human-murdering race that would be totally messed up if the victims weren't glorified space Nazis? How long can Miles' opening intro possibly be? (Hint: Colin is now determined to top it.) How do you pronounce GLaDOS, anyway? Why does Dan hate chess, and by extension, America? And how many Smash Fiction hosts are actually replicants?
Featuring the return of guest host Rafael Medina, who is absolutely a real human, no matter what the director's cut might imply. Yep. Totally, 100% hum-droid. I mean, human. That's what I said.
Come one, come all! In honor of the name day of King Joffrey I Baratheon, the hastily-named Troupe of the Wandering Storm is pleased to present a musical production of that most ancient and legendary tale, The Tragedy of Cecily and Andre! Script by Mordin Solus! Costuming by Nico Minoru! Flubbed dialogue by Dante Sparda! And featuring a once-in-a-lifetime performance by Stitch, aka the Amazing Lute Dog!
Passion! Betrayal! Emotion! Definitely not a smokescreen for a covert attempt to break into the Tower of the Hand for information about the Stone of Grace! One night only! Don't miss it!
Disclaimer: The Troupe of the Wandering Storm is not responsible for any damage, physical or psychological, that may be inflicted by daring escapes, random portals, face-melting guitar solos, or the unexpected appearance of pegasi.
(NOTE: The first few minutes of this episode contain spoilers for the outcomes of the previous 45 Smash Fiction matches. The spoiler-free part of the show begins at 9:08.) Happy one-year anniversary! We've had a lot of laughs, a lot of love, and even more bullshit and D&D references. We start the episode with a discussion of the bizarre Smash Fic continuity that has arisen--entirely unintentionally--and then we answer the questions that you, our fans, submitted! We discuss our favorite tabletop and video games, we talk about how matches are selected and decided, and we argue about whether Mexican food could defeat bacon in a fight. Thanks for an amazing first year!