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Now displaying: October, 2016

Smash Fiction is a debate-style comedy podcast in which a rotating cast of nerds argue on behalf of their chosen fictional characters. Only one can win!

Oct 30, 2016

It's a beautiful day on the campus of Monsters University...a beautiful day for the Scare Games, that is! As per usual, teams of monsters will compete in five grueling events -- Toxicity Challenge, Avoid the Parent, Don't Scare the Teen, Hide and Sneak, and Simulated Scare -- to see who is truly the most frightening monster in the frat house.

But this year, there's some new blood entering the games. Four new fraternities have been recognized by Dean Hardscrabble, each led by an older, experience student, each determined to prove that they are still the masters of inducing fear. One who lays claim to this title is the Dream Master himself, the leader of Slasha Slayta Die, the face-melted fish knife-fingered Freddy Krueger. Refusing to follow the traditional Greek alphabet format, Nemesis and the Nemenasties bring their rocket launchers, miniguns, and zombie mutations to the field. From Hex Omicron Hex Omicron Hex Omicron come the vassals of the one and only Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington. And Kappa Amenophus arrives chanting the name of their personal god, the ancient mummy known as Imhotep. Which fictional monster will lead their followers to victory in the Scare Games?

Featuring the return of Colin after only one episode (albeit as a guest host, officially), MeganBob's first judgment, Dan's continued mummy advocacy (and other important causes), Liz shouting a single word over and over again, Miles' increasingly rapid hair loss due to frustrating audio problems (not pictured), and more excellent music from Kevin MacLeod, "The Show Must Be Go" (www.incompetech.com). Smashtoberfest has come to an end, but Smash Fiction thunders ever onward.

And nothing could be scarier than that.

Oct 23, 2016

One kills to ensure that he is still feared. The other stalks those who dare to speak his name. When the kids in north side Chicago stop talking about the hook-handed, bee-infested urban legend known as the Candyman and start spreading stories about the faceless enigma called the Slender Man, both terrifying ethereal killers appear to silence them forever -- or make their flayed corpses into the ultimate reminder. But to get to the helpless teens, Candyman and Slender Man must first go through each other.

Smashtoberfest continues with the full-time Smash Fiction debut of MeganBob, as we determine which restless apparition can find some way to dispose of his murderous counterpart. Kit and Liz do a lot of static noises and screaming, and Miles finds a way to finally get Dan to say "fuck" on the podcast. Special thanks to Ben Chilton for suggesting this matchup.

Trigger warning: This episode contains brief periods of white people rapping.

Oct 16, 2016

Smashtoberfest continues with one of the most unique matches ever: a contest of horror movie survival, starring the most famous sitcom characters of the '90s! Yes, the four unforgettably despicable leads of Seinfeld have gotten out of prison and taken a much-needed vacation, spending the winter in a lonely cabin far from civilization. But Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes, Cosmo Kramer, and George Costanza are not the only life forms that have chosen this particular spot. For one thing, Newman has decided to tag along. For another, something else has decided to tag along inside him.

And so, the Seinfeld cast find themselves alone with the most terrifying product of John Carpenter's imagination, the alien shapeshifter known only as the Thing! Will any of them escape? Can Elaine save her friends with her patented "Get out!" shove? Is Kramer secretly a genius? Would George really lick blood off a given surface, thinking it was ketchup? Will Jerry ever figure out what the deal is with these Things, anyway?

Also, Miles knows more about video games than anyone else, Dan's jokes keep getting stepped on, Liz thinks everyone should be on fire, Kit gets really excited about snowboarding, Kevin MacLeod provides more awesome music in the form of "Scheming Weasel" (www.incompetech.com) and Colin makes an important and bittersweet announcement.

Oct 9, 2016

Put on your muscle shirt, break out your best evil laugh, and prepare for an epic Smashtoberfest confrontation between ancient mummies and skeleton demons...as only 1980s cartoon shows can deliver! By popular demand, the Smash Fiction crew takes on yet another of the most hotly-debated questions in all the multiverse: Who would win in a fight between He-Man's iconically-voiced purple-and-blue nemesis, Skeletor, and the bandage-wrapped bane of Third Earth, Mumm-Ra?

The two classically evil fiends square off in the tower of Merklynn (you know, from that Visionaries show -- oh wait, the Mulkerins are the only people who actually remember that was a thing) and are prepared to resort to any and all tactics that will allow them to walk off with the wizard's fabled treasure (not to mention some great rolls on the magic item tables). Will Skeletor's  Havoc Staff, endless arsenal of verbose insults, and defunct but still inspirational Facebook page be enough to prove him the true master of the universe? Or will Mumm-Ra call upon the ancient spirits of evil for one final, unbeatable transformation sequence, and do to Skeletor what he did to the Thundercats in that one DC comic book we should all have agreed never to talk about?

Also, Miles lays the smackdown on the Eternian political system, Dan and Colin make a ridiculous amount of D&D references, Liz does the best Skeletor impression, Kit's Lightning Round is as insane as it is predictable, and Brett Van Donsel provides some seriously spooky intro music (with an assist from wwww.incompetech.com).

Oct 2, 2016

Having made their way to the near-abandoned castle of Winterfell in search of the Stone of Grace, the League is awakened by a mysterious figure, who reveals himself to be the infamous undead bloodsucker, Dracula. But which one? That's a pretty elaborate beard for a Bram Stoker character. Do they all shoot fireballs?

Anyway, turns out Dracula is a creep and the League has to try and bash his ancient vampire brains out. Can Mordin outwit the forces of evil with nothing but a portal gun and a moral compass? Are Nico's increasingly bizarre spells destined to eventually backfire? How sick, exactly, is Stitch's guitar slide? And is Dante really still naked?

Like, still? Throughout the entire episode?

Really?

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