Beautiful boys with beautiful blades battle in beautiful, beautiful ways in this week's contest of deadly swords and unspeakable regrets. When word reaches him of the existence of the demonic weapon known as Tōkijin (possibly via the mysterious yet sarcastic bartender serving drinks nearby) the scar-faced rurouni Himura Kenshin is determined to destroy it. But when he arrives at the mouth of the cave in which the sinister blade rests, he quickly finds that he is not alone. Cloud Strife, fresh off the depressing realization that his fantasy is still somehow not final, is in the mood to break something with all six parts of the Fusion Sword. And Siegfried Schtauffen, a man no stranger to living in his own personal nightmare, is ready to bring the full power of Soul Calibur to bear against evil...at least, until both he and his sword are corrupted by evil, themselves.
Which beautiful sword boy will win the three-way duel (truel?) and earn the right to destroy Tōkijin (and to incorporate it into bluntly symbolic trauma flashbacks at some point in the future)? Will Kit, Liz, and MeganBob survive their collective salivation over this group of characters? And how will they fare when Dan unleashes the most fearsome villain of all in the Lightning Round?
Because you demanded it, two of the most powerful, literally godlike beings in the multiverse collide as the first superhero and the last son of Krypton takes on the legendary Super-Saiyan leader of the Dragon Team! After an unlikely series of events involving a glitch in the Matrix, a random subway encounter, and an argument about polite manners and glasses, Clark Kent opens his shirt to reveal the Superman logo, Goku's hair begins inexplicably changing color, and the Man of Steel and the wielder of the Dragon Balls enter into glorious battle! When the dust settles from the heat vision laser beams and Kamehamehas, which unbelievably overpowered juggernaut loosely inspired by Japanese legend will be the last man standing?
Spike and Taulbee of the S'up Nerds and Death Save podcasts return to perform wonderful impressions and help dish out Smash Fiction's most generous helping of bullshit to date! Also, Dan provides examples of why people hate DC Comics, MeganBob leans into math and mud wrestling, and Liz Logan gives very few fucks, indeed.
We'd advise you to buckle up for this episode, but here in the post-apocalyptic Outback, there's no such thing as seatbelts. Mad Max Rockatansky did battle with the burn victim warlord of leather and codpieces, Lord Humungus, in The Road Warrior, and faced off against the white-haired pimp tyrant with the skull mask smile, Immortan Joe, in Fury Road. However, partially due to the Mad Max franchise's ambiguous timeline, the two cretinous commanders of crazies and cultists have never been able to compete with one another...until now.
Thunder up and rev your engines, because it's time for a good old fashioned death race! There's a source of guzzoline out in the Australian desert. Joe wants it. The Humungus wants it. The question is, who wants it more? With an equal number of chosen henchmen and their preferred styles of weapons and vehicles, will the master of the Citadel and his War Boys ride to victory, shiny and chrome? Or will the Ayatollah of Rock n' Rolla, along with his insane gang of gaylord berserkers, smegma-crazies, and Wez, send their enemies to Valhalla with a crossbow bolt and a three-bladed spear?
Featuring special guest host Diamond Jay -- witness him! Also, Dan gets into a debate about a comic book (surprising no one), Miles knows literally nothing about cars, Liz's quest to alienate the entire nation of Australia continues, and yet another Lightning Round goes completely off the damn rails.
Enjoy the show, and support the Smash Fiction Patreon at www.patreon.com/smashfictionpodcast
At this point, even Miles has to admit that this multiversal space war thing is getting a little out of hand. As the judge, all he had to do was come up with a reason for Zoe Washburne, the bad-ass ex-military first officer of Serenity, to get into a contest with Kara Thrace, aka Starbuck, the best Viper pilot on the Galactica. You know, something that would test their skills at maneuvering through war zones, locating critical objectives, and generally caving in the skulls of anyone who gets in their way. It should have gone smooth.
It never goes smooth.
Now, in a bizarre scenario unfolding on the surface of Arrakis (aka Dune), our heroines (without the advantages of either a Firefly-class transport ship or a Battlestar) must fight their way through a 'splosion-riddled combat theater featuring the Roughnecks, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the various classes of warrior from Team Fortress 2! Will Zoe use the time-honored techniques of dirt-throwing and throat-slitting to be the first to reach the shiny blue briefcase just full to bursting with intelligence? Or will Starbuck show everyone why she's the frakking harbinger of doom?
Celine Modschiedler and Neal Butler guest star as two ordinary people swept up in a tidal wave of sheer insanity, forced to rise to the challenge of a world that no longer makes any sense by allowing the most awesome versions of themselves to come to the forefront and fight back! In other words, they're both basically Bruce Campbell.
The League may have hacked their way into a qualifying match, but they still have to win it if they want to get into the Nexus Tournament! Will they be able to stand up to a team of animalistic, shape-shifting martial artists? And will they be fully prepared to take on the even more insidious foe of talk show interviews and 24/7 reality TV coverage?
Also, Luna turns someone into a balloon, Stitch goes trick-or-treating, Dante REALLY gets to know a weretiger, Mordin doesn't handle interviews well, and the cap of Archer's pen comes off for, like, no reason.
It's that time of year again when the Smash Fiction Podcast takes about 30 minutes out of its regular programming schedule to go completely and utterly insane (more so than usual, that is). This year for April Fool's Day, we're taking our carefully crafted character/scenario selection process and throwing it out the window, speeding our way through five bizarre, randomly-generated, and in most cases, totally unfair mini-matches! Who will be able to spin the most convincing off-the-wall bullshit in contests featuring the likes of Elsa, Sterling Archer, and Mordor? It's time to roll the dice and find out!