Return to the lab with us this week as Claire, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob attempt to build a coherent story out of random characters and plot elements!
Things get wild quickly as the core cast includes a woman who's a wolf, a man who's an owl, and a cat who's a people. Mix in story elements from Star Wars, Image Comics, Oscar Wilde, and obscure Australian westerns, and you end up with a tale of adventure, deception, intrigue, and... contact juggling? Seriously, this one is really weird.
This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for September 2018. The original description follows:
Thank you to everyone for allowing me to finally use one of my two ukuleles and a harmonica in an actual meaningful context. This song truly is a tribute to my fellow podcasters in how much I enjoy playing League with them and how interesting it can be solving problems with characters who approach things very differently. This song is also a great way for me to ask for Kit's forgiveness regarding a certain episode (listen to Surprise Party 3, you'll understand).
In terms of instrumentation chosen, you are listening to a ukulele, a standard size harmonica, a palm-muted electric bass, a Jamaican hand drum, my vocals, and Kit's lovely Stitch statements. It is me playing everything except Kit's voice. I used my condenser microphone for everything except the bass, which I just plugged straight into my audio interface. Just so you know, I was using pots and pans for percussion at first but it sounded so loud and ridiculous, I had to take it out.
Did you know
What family means in Hawaiian?
Well I didn't know
Until Stitch came along
Ohana means family
Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten
And then this motley crew
Went and stepped on through
To become ohana
How would we have known
That Stitch doesn't like whipped cream
That Luna just wanted to have a pet
'Cause she's sick of you assholes
That Mordin clearly likes to watch the world burn
Incinerate it all
That Nico really likes to read that one weird book
That Dante probably doesn't know what ohana means
Hint, it's family
And you know what
Just like a real family
We certainly have some problems
Dante cares too much about his muscles
And Nico has some homicidal urges
Mordin sometimes wishes he could stay in his lab
And Stitch has an issue with, SHINY... LET ME EAT IT
And Luna is, wait, yeah I don't have anything for this one
One big League family
That everyone can see!
Saving the universe
One world at a time
If we weren't together we wouldn't be ohana
Gather round and listen well to a tale most epic, passed down from generation to generation, of four heroes who were bamboozled into partaking in their most mythic adventure yet! Sun Wukong, the infamous Monkey King, has decided that he'd rather flit about various fictional worlds causing mischief, and managed to trick the greatest heroes from Greek, Irish, British, and Scandinavian mythology into taking the hapless monk Tripitaka on a legendary journey to the west. The way is hazardous, with demons, traps, sorcery, and calamity awaiting our heroes' arrival... and only one hero will prove his heroic superiority and have his tale told and retold through the ages to come.
Listen well as Claire presents Lancelot as a boy band anime character; as Dan attempts to recap the entirety of both the Iliad and the Odyssey in his opening arguments; as Miles tries in vain to pronounce even one Irish name correctly; and as guest host Matias panders with godly might to judge Meganbob. And be sure you have your (fake) IDs ready for the Lightning Round, because things are getting steamy!
The Shinra Corporation is up to no good, rumors of impending doom are flying like a one-winged angel, and once again, a group of adventurers have come together to save the world. Of course, this is Surprise Party, so there are actually three groups, they're significantly more makeshift than most, and if you thought you knew how the story of Final Fantasy VII goes, the Smash Fiction crew is here to make it go a very, VERY different way!
Of course, you don't need to know everything about Final Fantasy VII to enjoy the madness that ensues over the course of this episode. Hell, Miles is here for this one, and he doesn't know ANYTHING about Final Fantasy VII! But he does know how to draft a set of heroes from across the fictional multiverse that will compete in challenges from the video game in an effort to score the most points, win the most materia, and bet the most money on the chocobo races!
Who will win this contest of the sword, the staff, and the dreaded dumpus? Join us as we push the limits of allowable Surprise Party characters, weave intricate stories of sex and dating, and in the end, suffer a sudden but inevitable betrayal!
It's once again time for hackles to rise, fur to fly, and Kit to get unreasonably excited about animals as Smash Fiction goes on its very own incredible journey! Cruella DeVille is in the market for some new formal attire and has gotten her evil hands on five of the most iconic cats and dogs of 80s and 90s kids movies. However, thanks in part to the blundering of Cruella's credulous cronies, Horace and Jasper, our adorable fluffy heroes have managed to escape, and now face a daunting challenge -- surviving the perils and pitfalls of the English wilderness on the path back to their respective idyllic points of origin, all while continuing to avoid Cruella and her grasping goons. Milo the kitten and Otis the pug puppy, best friends since birth and no strangers to the most hostile conditions the directors of their movie could sadistically envision, have their experiences in an apparently human-free world and the wisdom of bizarre Japanese dream owls to draw upon. But loyal dogs Shadow and Chance, alongside Sassy, their Himalayan cat companion, have already demonstrated the powers of teamwork, lion launching, and inexplicable pipe physics in their previous adventures. Will the three house pets once again prove that they can't be stopped when they're homeward bound? Or will Dudley Moore agonizingly narrate the story of Milo and Otis emerging victorious, no matter how many winter caves containing sexy animal ladies stand in their way?
Brad Bultman is back again to collect experience points merely for surviving the encounter; Claire and Miles refuse to stop spinning their own contradictory narratives; Dan accidentally discovers how the human race will end; and Kit brings her own worst nightmares to life in the Lightning Round.
Times of peace are few, far between, and all too short for our world-hopping heroes. After indulging in some well-earned downtime, the League summons Team Ohana for a new mission... and it quickly becomes clear that this new world is going to be much more dangerous than anything they've encountered before.
Stitch helps Lace cultivate a new skill set; Luna seeks redemption; Nico creates a sweet new ride; Dante grotesquely misuses a dessert topping; and Mordin realizes just how much he's missed the chaos.