This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for July 2017. The original description follows:
Well, you did it. We sent out a poll at the beginning of the month to see which characters you'd like our hosts to play, and boy howdy did you respond. I just want to say that I claim zero responsibility for what ended up happening when this particular combination of characters was put together.
Seriously though, this episode ended up being extremely fun. Listen in to find out what happens when a ragtag group of League rejects is pulled in to defend a helpless Eternian town from a group of dangerous raiders... and sets out to figure out what's really going on. Speeches are given. Weapons are dropped. The Cheats are kicked. One of the characters spends about half of the episode running around naked. It's kind of great.
-Dan
In this educational, no-nonsense episode (featuring very little education and a great deal of nonsense), two of fiction's sharpest-tongued and most magically bad-ass witches settle a long-standing grudge when a young man suddenly manifests more arcane power than anyone should be expected to control. With the boy in desperate need of training, a dark choice between freeform, experimental teaching methods and structured institutional learning lies before him, and Granny Weatherwax, the most feared practitioner of headology on the Discworld, and Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts' resident Transfiguration instructor and Quidditch enthusiast, are engaged in a battle for his very soul! Or at least the right to make cuttingly sarcastic comments about his attendance record.
Which witch will prevail in this duel not only of magical might, but of proving oneself a nurturing and effective instructor? RoShawn DiLodovico of the UNspoiled! Podcast joins Smash Fiction to help us find out, along with the likewise debuting Marissa Bond, who arrives to take on the entire goddamn patriarchy! Also, MeganBob has words for Albus Dumbledore (and none of them are "oddment" or "tweak"), Miles' years of childcare experience manifest in the theory that kids like 'splosions, and Kit starts collecting the weirdest baseball cards ever.
If you're a Smash Fiction Patron, you're about to get access to a brand-new bonus episode of Extraordinary League! You also got to vote on who plays which characters, which means, among other things, that Miles will be playing the Swedish Murder Machine himself, Brock Samson!
Upon receiving the first draft of his character sheet, Miles gave GM Dan a call over Skype to discuss the intricacies of Brock's character, including whether or not surviving the vacuum of space entitles one to a higher Endurance score and the specific mechanics of berserker rage. And because they are good podcasters, of course, they recorded everything!
For the full experience of Miles actually playing Brock, along with all kinds of other wackiness, go to www.patreon.com/smashfictionpodcast!
After a tense electoral race, the Patron votes are in, and the Mother of Dragons herself, Daenerys Targaryen, is returning at long last to Smash Fiction, and also returing at even longer last...to Westeros!
Well, that's what she figures, anyway. A major geographical miscommunication has led Dany and her sole remaining companion, Drogon, to a strange village called Irontown that sits beside a dark and mysterious forest. Considering the presence of huge local wolves and trees that are worshiped as gods, the Dragon Queen's mistake is an honest one, but as a result, she and Drogon now find themselves embroiled in heated battle against the god-wolf Moro and her adopted daughter, San, known in Irontown as Princess Mononoke. This Targaryen invader has brought fire and blood to their forest, and they will defend it to the death. Will Daenerys' conquest herald a new chapter in the song of ice and fire, or will San teach her the dangers of entering places marked "here there be monsters?"
Also, MeganBob brings a metaphor about teenage dragons to glorious life, Miles has obviously been reading too many technology thinkpieces, Dan and Colin don't believe you or anyone else can prevent forest fires, and Kit activates Weeaboo Mode.
Smash Fiction returns to its favorite large and unspecified setting -- SPAAAAAAACE -- for a match between artificial intelligences and their mutually amazing ability to hack computers, fly spacecraft, and keep a team of sci-fi commandos alive long enough to complete a vital mission.
When the expansive forces of Earth and Mars both seek control of a nearby moon, each side sends only the best in actually-people sentient technology. One group of would-be moon-conquerors is led by Cortana, destroyer of Halo rings, multiple-time savior of the galaxy, sexy blue hologram lady. The other is commanded by the Enhanced Defense Intelligence of the Normandy SR-2, aka EDI, defeater of Reapers, throaty-voiced proclaimer of whether something is or isn't a joke. Will Cortana ultimately be the AI with the most mass(ive) effect, or will EDI show her rival that the Covenant was child's play by comparison?
Featuring lots of awesome space words (space), a Lightning Round that has been a long time coming, and a blooper reel that truly lives up to its name!
Everyone knows cats and dogs don't play well together, and when the cats and dogs in question also happen to be deities, things can get pretty hairy. Responding to the desperate prayers of the demon-cursed town of Tristram, Amaterasu, Nippon's favorite wolf-shaped, celestial brush-painting sun goddess, and Aslan, the Lion (and occasional lamb) of Narnia, have arrived to lead their newfound flock out of the darkness and into a new golden age! But only one of them can be Tristram's new, extremely fluffy savior. Which god-animal will inspire the most faith, convert the most new followers, and, y'know, kill Diablo?
Featuring a hackles-raising argument about prophecy and magic ink supplies between Kit and Dan, a duel of the Narnia nerds between Miles and MeganBob, and Colin undergoing a fully-realized existential crisis.
Disclaimer: The opinions stated in this episode do not reflect our opinions on either Christianity or Shinto. No religious offense whatsoever is intended.
Additional thanks to Kevin MacLeod this week for the use of his song "Waltz of the Carnies."
The path to victory never runs smooth. In the case of the Extraordinary League, it means that the two groups they've most screwed over since their arrival in Nexus City have simultaneously arrived to pay them back for their misdeeds. Who could have possibly foreseen these entirely logical consequences?! Can the League defeat two groups of foes at once? Can they protect the innocent bystanders of Hannah Montana and Cambot? And what dark secrets of Nexus City will be revealed over the course of their investigation?
Tune in as Archer kills with his heart, Dante explores some wardrobe alternatives, Luna does some digging, Stitch tries a new type of cuisine, and Mordin holds nothing but contempt for you puny Earth people!