Merry Cagemas, gentle listeners, and welcome to the seventh annual Cage Match, presented by the largely (but not entirely) defunct Smash Fiction podcast! Four Nicolas Cage characters are set to do battle for the title of World Heavyweight Cage, and these particular Cages are among the most wretched and tragic in the notoriously eccentric actor's oeuvre!
Has Kit finally found a Cage worthy of their strange devotion in the form of Johnny from Zandalee? Is Miles' somehow even more nihilistic interpretation of Pig enough to turn a chef into a champion? Can Claire actually remember what happened in Prisoners of the Ghostland? And will MeganBob fall from grace in defense of Seth from City of Angels, or soar to new heights on gilded wings? Or, you know, just start shipping everyone?
Special guest judge Kris Newton presides as the SmashFic crew comes together once again to celebrate friendship, good cheer, and of course, bullshit. Cage bless us, every one!
Good news everyone! There are more Hard Choices episodes waiting for you right now on the Hard Choices feed! You should be able to locate it on all the podcatchers. Here's the one for Apple, if that's your bag! If you have any troubles locating Hard Choices in your podcatcher, just hit me up @meganbobness on Twitter or in the Smash Fiction Fan Faction on Facebook. There's also a Patreon if you want even more and you want it now!
Now, if you're Hard Choices curious, but not sure if it's for you, give this a quick listen because I'm going to try and pitch you on why it's worth a shot.
You're great and I'm so dang grateful for all of your support!
Boners assemble! It's time to rank the fuckability of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the team of Claire, Kit, and Dan Mulkerin, along with MeganBob, are ready to romance one of the most expansive franchises in modern history. In their quest to find the median of fuckability, you'll learn more about robot sex than you ever thought you'd need to know, more about our hosts than ever before, and perhaps an answer to the question of just how exactly does the Hulk smash. So, grab your best spandex outfit and climb aboard the helicarrier for a ride that you'll never forget.
Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
The second installment of Hard Choices is on the viewscreen and it’s a doozy. Join Miles Schneiderman and Ensign MeganBob, along with special guests Sharon Schneiderman and Kris Newton, as they beam aboard the USS Horny to bone where no podcast has dared to bone before. The show sets a course to discover the median of fuckability in the 90s Star Trek universe and learns a lot about our crew members along the way. So, put on your best jumpsuit and head to the holodeck for some quality hot takes on the Star Trek characters you grew up with.
Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
Welcome to Smash Fiction Presents: Hard Choices, a podcast appearing approximately whenever the mood strikes and guaranteed to explore new vistas of horniness! In this episode, Miles Schneiderman, Kit Mulkerin, MeganBob, and special guest Katrina Ehrnman-Newton rank the fuckability of 21 notable Lord of the Rings characters in an attempt to uncover who is the median most fuckable character in the LOTR universe. Turn down the torchlight, stuff your pipe with the finest weed in the Southfarthing, and get ready for some big feelings (the ones that really matter) in this sensual journey that Tolkien would absolutely never have approved of.
Music and sound credit to:
"Long Road Ahead", "Light Sting", "Der Kleber Sting," "Hero Theme," "In The West"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.filmmusic.io)
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license