Merry Cagemas, dear listeners, and welcome to Cage Match 2: The Cagening! Yes, it's another four-way battle of Nicolas Cage characters to celebrate this undeniably remarkable, yet thoroughly insane, holiday season. Four Cages! One cage! At stake: the prestigious, recently-reclaimed-from-the-IRS championship belt proclaiming its wearer the undisputed World Heavyweight Cage!
Only this time, the Cage Match will be contested not by mere mortals, but by Cages who are all something more -- or something less -- than human. Johnny Blaze, aka Ghost Rider, leaves tracks of hellfire down the entrance ramp as he rides toward the ring. Balthazar Blake, famed sorcerer and trainer of sorcerer's apprentices, arrives in a flash of magic and intimacy issues. John Milton drives angry into the arena despite his ever-present sunglasses, and fully intends to drive angry out of it again with a victory. And Peter Loew, freshly empowered by the vampire's kiss -- at least in his own mind, which he's actually just out of -- dons his plastic gift shop fangs and his bizarre demeanor in preparation for battle.
Which Cage will prove that they are the most Cage by escaping the cage before any other Cage? Will Dan successfully use Miles' own massive ego and love of seeing his name in print against him? (Editor's note: http://www.thesportster.com/wrestling/the-8-best-and-7-worst-entrance-outfits-in-wrestling-histroy/)Can MeganBob prove that successfully training Jay Baruchel is the greatest achievement in the wizarding world? Is Kit actually here, or has her consciousness been entirely subsumed in an attempt at creating an argument for Peter Loew? The answers to all these questions and more, tonight on Cagemas 2: The Cagening!
It is a period of civil war. Well, civil might not be the right word, considering that the various parties aren't exactly localized and were pretty much the opposite of united, but the other part is the same. Portals have opened, shots have been fired, and war has broken out amidst the various settings of the science fiction multiverse! The chaos of this reality-smashing conflict (which is totally not a convenient plot device for setting up future Smash Fiction matches, how dare you) plays host to several unlikely partnerships, and even more unlikely skirmishes -- the most recent of which is a good old-fashioned space dogfight between the heroes of Hoth, the Rebel Alliance's own Rogue Squadron, and the anthropomorphic Nintendo mercenaries known as Team Star Fox!
As the two teams battle for control of a mysterious space station that could hold the key to final victory for their respective sides, their mettle (and their spaceships' metal) will be thoroughly tested. Rogue Squadron has the terrifyingly accurate Wes Janson, the unflinchingly competent Tycho Celchu, the undeniably awesome Wedge Antilles, and of course, the occasionally whiny but all kinds of powerful-in-the-Force space wizard Luke Skywalker. Team Star Fox features the daring canine commander Fox McCloud (who is NOT throwing away his shot), the sharpshooting curmudgeonly bird of hotly-debated species Falco Lombardi, the aging but still prone to shout (inaccurately) about barrel rolls Peppy Hare, and of course, Slippy Toad, whose nightmarish amphibian eyes have seen far, far too much.
Which team has the piloting skills, firepower, and sheer moxie necessary to defeat their opponents and claim their goal? Rafael Medina returns to Smash Fiction to help answer that question, despite his own divided loyalties; Kit may or may not have gotten us sued by Lucasfilm; Dan is all about those Star Wars numbers and advanced statistics; and MeganBob uses the Lightning Round to do what she does best.
He may have spun off into his own solo series, but Colin "Stormtongue" Mulkerin is always up for a good old nostalgic crossover! Bringing with him the intrepid Brad Bultman, Colin returns to Smash Fiction to answer another of the most important questions: When Bob, Helen, Dash, and Violet Parr, collectively known as the Incredibles (along with their friend, Frozone), find themselves in the city of San Fransokyo during a massive prison break, what will happen when they get into the inevitable "each team thinks the other team are supervillains" fight with Hiro Hamada, Baymax, Honey Lemon, GoGo, Wasabi, and Fred -- Big Hero 6?
Will technological genius prevail over the inherent qualities of "being super?" Does the power of family and fashionable costuming trump the power of friendship and SCIENCE? Is The Incredibles actually promoting the elitist idea that human worth is conveyed by birthright, as opposed to Big Hero 6's apparent dedication to the concept of people creating their own worth through hard work and ingenuity? Actually, that last question isn't answered here, although there is a critical discussion of both films from a progressive gender studies perspective... and the question of what makes someone "worthy" does come up, though maybe not in the way you think...
...but hey, Kit defends stoners (kind of), Dan makes it incredibly clear that he has read way, way too many comic books, and MeganBob tells us how she really feels about children. Justice is served.
The quest for the Stone of Grace has led the League from one side of Westeros to another, and has finally led them into the frozen wasteland north of the Wall. There, numerous dangers await, including zombies, White Walkers, and the philosophical conflict between science and magic. OH, HORRORS! Good thing Stitch's snow shark impression is the actual scariest thing in this forest. The Others are gonna need a bigger boat.
Also, Nico takes a page out of a famous Marvel playbook, Dante plans his wedding, Geralt attempts to stab a dead person in a very uncomfortable place (not the back of a Volkswagon) Mordin gets distracted by the random treasure table, and Daenerys Targaryen is more than what she seems.