There are consequences for ripping a giant hole in the fabric of reality, Lord Asriel. One of them is that Iorek Byrnison and his bears have to find a new home. Ice. The other is that four masters of the forces of cold from four other worlds have wandered into Svalbard, where the bears plan to use their powers for their own ends. Ice. But only one can accompany King Iorek through the door in space, and that one will be determined by good old-fashioned gladiatorial combat! Ice! For the first time ever, Smash Fiction blends together books, comics, movies, television, and video games (and possibly another medium, as well) into one massive frostbitten extravaganza! ICE! Special thanks to Kevin McCleod (www.incompetech.com) for use of the songs "Cyborg Ninja" and "Devastation and Revenge. (ice)
In this extra-romantic Valentine's Day match, longtime lovebirds Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger from the world of Harry Potter return to Hogwarts for some continuing education, but trouble awaits in the form of their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: Shakespeare's Iago! Will Iago be able to do irreparable damage to this long-time fan favorite couple, or will true love conquer all? Can teen drama beat classic drama? Can our advocates quote Shakespeare without sounding like total tools? And... is Liz Logan reading poetry?! Special thanks to Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) for the song "Ashton Manor." Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
It's time for the second episode of Extraordinary League, Smash Fiction's monthly actual-play RPG special! Our heroes -- Dante Sparda, Sterling Archer, Mordin Solus, and Stitch -- have escaped the initial capture that brought them together, and now must battle their way through hordes of Phyrexian abominations to escape the apocalyptic hellscape that is...London! Special appearances by Buffy Summers, the Terminator, Razputin Aquato, Zelda, and a certain doctor (no, probably not that one, but you never know)! Can the burgeoning bromance between Dante and Stitch survive a ferocious Ferris wheel fight? Where is Mordin's circulatory system located, anyway? Will Archer finally find a bar? And just as a general question, since we all just kind of woke up into this MTG-infested nightmare with no memories of how we got here...what the hell is going on?
Oh, those wacky superheroes and their misunderstandings. Answering a call for help to deal with the escaped Venom symbiote, two of the multiverse's deadliest cosplayers -- Detective Sara Pezzini, aka Witchblade, and Ryuko Matoi of the anime Kill La Kill -- run into one another while on the hunt, and naturally assume that the obviously superpowered costume of the other is the symbiote wrapped around its villanous host. Fighting and argumentative hijinks ensue, along with near-nudity, unrealistic body types, and heaping spoonfuls of total nonsense. Which completely ridiculous character who can kill everything and never die will prevail?
Thanks to the inexplicable but still totally fiendish machinations of certain Marvel Comics villains (you'll never guess who), District 12's celebrity star of the deadly Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, and the bastard-born Lord Commander of the Night's Watch of Westeros, Jon Snow, have found themselves trapped together in the anachronistic Antarctic tropical paradise known as the Savage Land! Which survivalist teen fantasy hero can defeat dinosaurs, mutants, the elements, and the other competitor (if necessary) to escape? What epic bromance awaits Jon somewhere in the heart of the jungle for which he's admittedly overdressed? Can Katniss actually shoot an arrow through Iron Man's armor? And what madness awaits in the latest Liz Logan Lightning Round?
It's an environmentalist battle of the four (Five? Four and a half?) elements as Gaia's pun-slinging, green-mulleted global defender, Captain Planet, clashes with the fun-loving, arrow-tattooed Last Airbender himself, Aang (because apparently Colin thinks it's Earth Day). Insults are hurled like trees in a hurricane, specious claims are made like a climate change denier on speed, and of course, it's all just a big misunderstanding. Featuring special guest host Tim Mulkerin, as well as an unexpected final segment that rapidly descents into utter madness. You know, as usual.
We must be doing the Time Warp again, or maybe Twilight was all just a dream, because Bella Swan never made it to Forks, WA, after all. Stranded in the middle of nowhere on the rainy night, she suddenly finds herself the object of desire for two of fiction's most persuasive, seductive, and flamboyant charmers! Will Bella be swayed by Jareth, the Goblin King, his wish-granting abilities, and his "rufie peaches?" Or will she remain within Frank's castle of unearthly (and also totally earthly) delights? Thanks to Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com) for his songs "Black Vortex" and "Porch Swing Days," which can be heard during the first-ever musical round! And of course, this episode of Smash Fiction is dedicated to the memory of the late, great, unquestionably unique, and always inspirational, David Bowie. You will be missed.
It's time for the first official episode of Extraordinary League, the actual-play RPG podcast featuring the co-hosts of Smash Fiction! Mordin Solus, Dante Sparda, Sterling Archer, and Stitch find themselves thrown into unexpected partnership after being captured by a mysterious group of magical cyborg aliens (or something). Will our heroes be able to escape their kidnappers and figure out where they are -- and why? Will Archer be able to stop bickering with the other characters long enough to do something useful? Will everyone remember the rules of the Marvel Superhero RPG from the 1980s? The answers to these questions, and many more you never thought you'd ask, can be found within! It's League time!
Smash Fiction wishes you a ridiculous and wonderful holiday season by celebrating the most ridiculous and wonderful person on Earth...Nicolas Cage! In solidarity with the Flophouse Podcast's celebration of "Cagemas," it's a WWE-style Cage Match, featuring featuring no fewer than four classic Cage characters! Castor Troy brings golden chairs to the ring, Cameron Poe knows more about wrestling than you, Edward Malus wears a bear costume, and Ben Gates is crouched in the corner trying to figure out the meaning of a symbol he found on the back of a turnbuckle pad (it's really just a bloodstain with a sequin stuck to it). Which Cage will be able to escape the cage and be declared the undisputed World Cage Champion?
Justice is blind, but there's a surgical fix for that -- you just have to kill a few people. After another daring, corpse-ridden escape from another intergalactic prison, the convicted murderer and part-time god-emperor Richard B. Riddick has somehow found himself on the strange world of Earth-616, and now, he's trapped in a Hell's Kitchen warehouse with the masked vigilante known as Daredevil! Can the man without fear deliver his own brand of justice to one of sci-fi's most feared killers, or will Riddick do what he's done to every other lawman who has attempted to bring him in? Special guest co-host MeganBob joins Smash Fiction this week to discuss Riddick's complicated relationship with animals, Daredevil's complicated relationship with other humans, and the inexplicable presence of Jack Bauer.
Just in time for The Force Awakens, Smash Fiction brings you a three-way showdown of the Sith! Emperor Palpatine has force-resurrected (it's probably a real thing, just go with it) his three greatest apprentices, and now demands that they battle to the death to determine who will regain their rightful place by his side! Which Dark Lord will telekinetically choke the life from his opponents and fling their corpses down a bottomless pit? Also, Darth Maul is functionally immortal, Anakin Skywalker is the ultimate Mary Sue, and all roads lead back to Christopher Lee.
Smash Fiction's special Thanksgiving episode is a gut-bursting three-way eating contest featuring the multiverse's most gluttonous face-stuffers! Kirby of Dreamland, No-Face from Spirited Away, and Homer J. Simpson himself are locked in multiple-course combat on Coney Island, and only one can be named fiction's fastest, most furious foodie. Does Kirby need to crack open the shellfish before consuming them? How will Homer deal with ghost pepper? Can No-Face get drunk? And what in the name of all that's holy and good does unorthodox judge Liz Logan have in store for the lightning round?
Oh, horrors! Geralt of Rivia and Link of Hyrule have somehow arrived on the mysterious island of "England," where they are charged by God to seek the Holy Grail! Which magic-wielding, sword-swinging adventurer can successfully brave the Caves of Caerbannog, defeat the killer rabbit, and make their way across the Bridge of Death for a final assault on the Castle Aaaaaaaarrrrggghhh? Guest appearance by SCIENCE! (And there was much rejoicing.)
Welcome to an actual-play RPG podcast, Smash Fiction style! Our planned offering for this week, Geralt vs. Link had to be moved to next week due to a scheduling conflict, but we've been waiting for the opportunity to share Extraordinary League with the world! Dan Mulkerin GMs a home-brewed version of the 1980s Marvel Superheroes RPG, featuring a party of existing fictional characters. In this episode, Kit, Liz, Miles, and Colin debate which characters they want to try and bring to life, while once again answering some of the most important questions. Is there anything Mordin Solus can't do? Is Witchblade what's wrong with America? And will Kit be allowed to play Godzilla?
In the biggest Battle of the Bands in fictional music history, two groups have advanced to the finals: the legendary rockers Spinal Tap (one of Britain's loudest groups) and the obscure New Zealand duo Flight of the Conchords. Only one act can win the hearts of the audience and become the greatest band in all of fandom! But no matter who prevails, you know Dethklok is still going to find a way to ruin the show...or make it exponentially more awesome. Special thanks (in addition to our usual thanks) to Kevin McLeod of www.incompetech.com for his song "Danger Storm."
Monstropolis is in crisis again, as its connection to the human world has begun to fray! To solve the problem, Monsters Inc. has sent its top agents, Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan, on a journey to the most terrifying place on Earth...Florida. Unfortunately, after a lucky tourist manages to take a snapshot of the two monsters, they find themselves hunted by the FBI's most eccentric and relentless truth-chasers, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Special guest advocates Kris Newton and Katrina Ehrnman-Newton of the Gameable Podcast join the Smash Fiction crew to find out if Mike and Sulley can complete their mission before Mulder and Scully turn them into undeniable proof that the truth is out there.
When a coven of vampires in Austria commits a grisly series of murders, Buffy Summers and Eric "Blade" Brooks know exactly what to do. It's suckhead staking season...but which deadly scourge of the undead is better at their job? Will Blade's vast array of bizarre but effective weaponry allow him to mow through his enemies with his classic "kick in the door and kill them all" technique? Or will the savior of Sunnydale's Slayer superpowers put an end to yet another faction of fanged, face-changing fiends? And what madness does Judge Liz Logan plan to unleash during the lightning round? (Hint: Whatever you think it is, it's not that.)
In Smash Fiction's special Halloween episode, that peerless band of exorcists-for-hire, the Ghostbusters, travel to the small, shrouded resort town known as Silent Hill. Can Venkman, Ray, Egon, and Winston clear out the horrific haven of hellish nightmares, or will Pyramid Head and his demons continue to haunt the minds of those who enter Silent Hill...but never leave?
The two most famously scorned and slandered spell-slingers in the history of black magic are up to their old tricks again. After being snubbed out of a party invitation, Maleficent and the Wicked Witch of the West decide to throw a couple parties of their own. The only catch is that they don't plan on letting any of the guests reach their castles alive! Will Maleficent's wall of thorns and draconic shape-shifting be enough to keep out the most would-be revelers, or will the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys and fields of poppies be more effective? Special guest Tim Mulkerin joins the cast of Smash Fiction this week. Also, after the credits, we spoil the ending of a movie that came out in 2006. Just so you know.
The villainous Monarch will choke on his own hatred before allowing Dr. Thaddeus Venture to show off his new invention at the science expo! To foil his arch-enemy, the Monarch hires the covert agency ISIS to steal Venture's creation, and top/most obnoxious agent Sterling Archer (Codename: Duchess) is assigned the task. But Venture's walking Swedish murder machine, Brock Samson, is on watch to prevent any funny business. It's spy vs. spy as Samson and Archer enter the danger zone and begin a deadly game of cat and also cat, in Smash Fiction's most quote-heavy episode to date!
Smash Fiction friends Anton Balane and Brad Bultman join the show for a battle of fencing, buckle-swashing, and romance, as the beautiful (though somewhat withdrawn) Princess Elsa has drawn the eyes of the spectacular Spanish swordsman Inigo Montoya and the masked crusader of Californian justice, Zorro. But only one can win her definitely-not-pierced-by-frost-magic heart! The duel rages across Elsa's balcony (before moving to a place that is far, far away). Which master of the blade will defeat his rival and rule Arendelle by Elsa's side?
In an all-important quest for better Hearthstone cards, Arthas, the Lich King, Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades, and Diablo, the Lord of Terror, find themselves in the land of Skyrim. Each of the three big-time Blizzard baddies must take out the other two in order to claim the precious cards. Head to head. Army to army. Resurrection to resurrection. Corruption to corruption. Special ability called "Apocalypse" to special ability called "Apocalypse." You get the idea. Plus, the Lighting Round takes a trip to...Blizzard High?
Fighting has broken out on the streets of New York City! Of couse, that's hardly unusual in and of itself, but in this case, the battle involves four anthropomorphoid reptiles, five gothic architecture rejects, and one vague misunderstanding. In the battle of animated TV super-teams, will the Gargoyles rise to new heights, or will the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles drag them down into the sewers?
Two of the most celebrated discoverers of ancient evil stuff in pop culture history suddenly find themselves in the mysterious land of Hyrule...but only one can get home again! Which of them will be able to infiltrate strange temples, fight off their bizarre defenders, and lay hands on the mysterious Spiritual Stones? Or will they just lay hands on one another? Find out in Smash Fiction's most innuendo-filled episode yet!
In the not-too-distant future, the biggest race in the mega-sport spectacle known as Mario Kart is contested between Speed Racer, Ghost Rider, Vanellope von Schweetz, and Mad Max. Which acceleration junkie will dominate his or her opponents? How much witty but ultimately meaningless banter can their advocates squeeze into fifty minutes? And just how bad is Liz Logan's Australian accent, anyway? The answers to these questions can only be found on the Rainbow Road!